First Generation American “Drinks and Dialogue” Interview with Monika Rydzewki

A few years ago, I was following in my parents’ footsteps and left my home city to explore new opportunities. Before I departed Chicago and headed to Denver, my father told me, “Ania, mark my words, this is not the right move and you’ll be back home soon.” At the time, I was stubborn and insisted that since my parents left Poland and started a new life, I could do the same and survive just fine. After all, I had a college education and spoke English – I had nothing to lose.

Well, turns out, my dad was right. Within a few months of living in Denver, I found myself missing home and dreaming of Lake Michigan. It was painful to admit that I made a mistake, so I kept it inside and pretended like it was okay. I spent hours each day on Facebook, stalking the pages of friends back in Chicago and living vicariously through their posts. One person whose page I was particularly drawn to was Monika Rydzewski’s.

Monika Rydzewski, Founder of Connect.Inspire.Grow

Monika’s wall was full of inspirational quotes, happy photos, and encouraging words of advice. We were friends on social media for a while and had many mutual friends, but we never actually met in person. I was a total stranger to her. One day out of desperation, I private messaged her and spilled the beans. I told her how I took a chance by moving to the Mile High city, and that I did not feel like it was the right decision. It was embarrassing to tell my parents that I wanted to come home, and more than anything it was all because of a boy and I let my heart overrule my head. Her posts on Facebook were so positive, that even though I was so bummed, I was inspired by her optimistic outlook on life and wanted to thank her for giving me something to look forward to each day.

This message was kind of a shot in the dark, I had no idea whether she would even read my words or bother to write back. To my surprise, within 20 minutes, I had received a full page reply from her that brought me to tears. Monika wrote that she can totally relate to me, because not only was she freshly out of a long term relationship at the moment, but she also knew what it is like to leave home and start a new life in a new city. She said that no matter what, my family loves me and will understand, and most importantly, God loves me and will give me the strength and clarity to come back home. This was the moment that inspired me to return to Chicago.

Monika’s ability to connect, inspire, and help other people grow stems from very personal and trying experiences that she went through in her adolescence. I must say, it’s truly an honor to able to interview her for this project.

Through the age of 10, Monika lived in Grajewo, Poland and spent her summers on her grandmother’s farm in a small village. She recalls, “My Babcia had a big farm. I would get up in the morning, milk the cows, go get the eggs from the chickens. It was real life. I never realized how fortunate I was to be able to be in that environment.”

Monika Rydzewski on her Grandmother’s farm in Poland

In 1993, her family decided to move to the United States. While her parents came here to find work and provide for their family, Monika had her own aspirations. “I had an American dream, and that was to speak English. I remember going to my third grade class, and I was just looking at my teacher as she spoke very fast. I would just stare at her because I was so amazed how fast she spoke. I thought, ‘One day, I hope I could just speak as fast as she.’” Monika laughs as she recalls this dream from her childhood, “Be careful what you wish for, because nowadays I speak very fast and I can’t catch-up with myself.”

Coming from a town where the entire population was Polish, Monika experienced a bit of a culture shock when she came to the US. “We’ve seen people with different ethnicities on the antique television, but I have never seen anybody in person unless I went to Warsaw to pick up family at the airport or something.” Chicago was a diverse melting pot, a world away from the reality of the homogeneous cultural background in Poland.

She remembers feeling out of place and not fitting in. “I was the outcast. I didn’t speak English. I wasn’t the coolest kid, and I was like an ugly duckling. When I first came here, I hated it. I didn’t have any friends. I was made fun off. It was really hard for me to build that connection with other people.”

In fifth grade, Monika moved to the suburbs and began making new friends from all different ethnicities. “I remember meeting Nadia, an Indian girl. She was wearing glasses and she was very nice to me. I was trying so hard to have friends, I just wanted to fit in with her, so I told my mom that I couldn’t see the board from far away and she took me to the eye doctor. I pretty much lied on my eye exam and got glasses.” The experience of trying to be normal and fit in can be a common experience for most kids, but there is definitely something special about being first generation and having an additional pressure to blend in. Though, sometimes these comical attempts haunt us in the future. Monika continues, “Now my prescription is so bad, it’s minus 4.0 and I always need to wear my glasses or contacts.” We joke that she should visit with one of our previous interviewees, Dr. Joanna Slusky at Halsted Eye Boutique.

Monika attended Maine East High School in Park Ridge, which was known as one of the most diverse schools in Illinois. “There was an international table in the cafeteria,” she says, “I would always go sit with them. I was very naturally attracted to the group because I grew up in a diverse area when I moved to Chicago. That’s why I never judge anyone, because even though someone might look different, I want to have an open mind – you don’t know their story, you don’t know where they come from, so just give them the opportunity to be your friend and see what they are all about.”

She then shares a very personal situation that attests to her belief of not judging others and being open to accepting them.

“After living in the US for a few years, my parents went through a divorce. I remember coming home one day and my mom was so upset, she was a total mess. I asked her what’s wrong and she said we might be homeless because my dad was not paying child support. That crushed in my heart and I cried myself to sleep that night. I woke up the next day and started asking my older friends if they knew anyone that was hiring because I really wanted to help my mom.”

Within a few days, Monika was hired at Dunkin Donuts in Chicago. Even though she was 13 years old, she told the owner of the store that she was 14 to get the job.  Her mother was worried about Monika taking on too much work between school and her new job. She says, “I would take the bus every single day, working 40 hours each week. My school day started early in the morning, and right after my shift was from 3:30pm until 9:00pm. My mom would pick me afterwards, and she didn’t want me working, but my grades weren’t suffering so I kept going.”

Monika says that it was this experience that influenced her to start her organization, Connect.Inspire.Grow. “It’s these different moments that shape who you are. Some of the toughest times have made me who I am today because I am more compassionate. The reason why I help the homeless is because I never want to have anybody go through the same thing as a child, especially being hopeless. Little things that happen that leave you thinking, ‘Oh, why is this happening to me? This is the worst thing ever,’ can end up being the best thing.”

Connect.Inspire.Grow was founded by Monika in 2011 with the mission to connect business professionals that will inspire each other from their experiences and allow them to grow their success. The organization hosts quarterly networking events with CEO-level keynote speakers, sharing their stories and motivating entrepreneurs throughout Chicago. Connect.Inspire.Grow also coordinates monthly charity events, including a food drive to feed the homeless at St. John Brebeuf Church in Niles. To date, Monika’s team of directors, host committee members, and volunteers have donated over 5,000 lunches and provided clothing and toys to countless families throughout Illinois.

Connect.Inspire.Grow food drive to feed the homeless

“Our organization has become one big, extended family. We have met so many incredible people with success stories and struggles, and it’s remarkable to see everyone grow on a personal and professional level. I am so excited to celebrate our 2 year anniversary on July 31^st at Hubbard Inn.” says Monika.

Volunteers for charity events are always welcomed, and sponsors for networking events are always encouraged.  To join the Connect.Inspire.Grow movement, visit Facebook.com/connectinspiregrow

First Generation American “Drinks and Dialogue” Interview with Dr. Joanna Slusky

What I love about interviewing first generation Americans is discovering the different, non-traditional ways of how their families settled into the United States. For someone like Dr. Joanna Slusky, O.D., the experience of moving to America and finally calling it home took some time and created some lasting memories.

Dr. Joanna Slusky, O.D.

Well before Dr. Joanna started her own eye care practice, Halsted Eye Boutique, she had to learn the English language and acclimate to the US. This was not an easy feat, considering the fact that she moved back and forth from Poland to Chicago several times at a very young age.

The idea of moving to America excited Dr. Joanna when she first found out about it from her mom when she was six years old. The lure of American products – before the days of social media transparency and a glimpse into other cultures – had her beaming with joy. “My aunt lived in Chicago with her husband she kept sending me all these different toys and clothes, and everything was beautiful and perfect. I remember I had this big bear. It was Teddy Ruxpin, and it moved and it talked, and it played songs.” These artifacts, and of course the notion of Disney World, could make any child ready for a new journey in a foreign land.

Dr. Joanna and her mother made their first move when she was in first grade. “I knew nothing. I knew how to say house, door, book, different things like that. I picked up pretty quickly, but I just had a huge accent.” She laughs, “I was this little blonde girl walking around speaking different things, but with a huge accent. Eventually, I lost the accent after maybe five, six months.” What makes her story unique is going back to Poland shortly thereafter, and starting the process over again.

She continues, “When I went back to Poland, everybody that I knew out there was like, ‘Where were you? What happened to you? We thought you got kidnapped.’ My friends were just surprised.” She stayed through second grade and one day, Dr. Joanna and her best friend decided that they were done with Poland and wanted to head back to America at about seven years old. “My friend’s her father lived in America, and my aunt was still in America, so we ran away from home. We took the train and the bus, we made it to another town. I was wearing cowboy boots, and she was wearing a little Super Girl outfit.” We laugh hysterically at her story, as she almost made is back to the States. “Finally, somebody stopped us. A conductor at a train station asked us, ‘Where are your moms?’ and we replied, ‘Oh no. We’re going to America. We’re fine.’” The girls didn’t quite realize their American dream at that moment and were safely sent back home.

For the next few years, Dr. Joanna got into the routine of settling back into school in Chicago, then back in Poland. After four times of moving, her family settled in permanently. I asked her what it was like from a lingual standpoint to have to learn and re-learn English again. We joked that it was a Lingual Rat Race. “Everybody was always telling me that I have a different accent. In America, I always had a Polish accent, and I kept going back and forth, and then I would go back to Poland, and people would say, ‘So, we see you have an American accent now.’ In America, it was a negative perception. In Poland, it was cool at that time because everybody wanted to come to America,” she says.

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In sixth grade, Dr. Joanna was able to call Park Ridge her home. Since she was gone for two years during her last move, she did not have any friends that she kept in touch with and had to start all over again. “People weren’t really accepting me. They weren’t really talking to me. Within a matter of a week, finally, this really, really sweet Puerto Rican girl named Esme, the only Hispanic girl in school, basically adopted me as her little sister. Esme, also a first generation American, grew up with a strong cultural background and taught Dr. Joanna how to cook all of the traditional meals, dance salsa, and even speak some Spanish. The two are still good friends to this day.

Throughout high school, most of Dr. Joanna’s friends were American of Italian, Greek, or Russian descent. She says, “We didn’t have that big of a Polish circle. Therefore, I think I had just adopted to those other cultures and found a little bit of theirs in my own, and inhibited theirs.

She maintained the Polish language at home with her mother, cooked Polish dishes, and preserved the culture. However, her lunches did not consist of pierogi and kapusta. “They wanted to Americanize me, so I always got a normal sandwich that looked good and healthy, and nothing that I ever took to school was Polish food.” She mentions this during our interview with Gino Bartucci, our Italian-American friend who recalled brining giant Italian subs with a side of sardines.

After graduating high school, Dr. Joanna started working full-time at her aunt’s furniture store, Vogue, and tended to all of the business responsibilities from sales, to managing the office, to interior decorating, and everything in between. “It gave me a whole different perspective on a private business, on ownership.” At that time, she was also attending a community college and was inspired by an acquaintance to pursue a career in eye health.  She transferred schools and moved forward with bigger dreams.

Dr. Joanna Slusky attended Northwestern University, and graduated Magna Cum Laude from the Illinois College of Optometry. Her academic merits include the Tomb and Key Honor Fraternity, and Beta Sigma Kappa International Honor Society academic honor recognition.

She then opened Halsted Eye Boutique, providing comprehensive eye examinations. Dr. Joanna has a special interest in pediatric vision care, and the management of the anterior segment of adult eyes. Ocular allergy, dry eye, and specialty contact lens care are the emphasis of her vision and ocular health care in our community. Dr. Joanna has been recognized by the leaders of the contact lens industry for her recommendations for the best vision care options for her patients.

Dr. Joanna welcomes new patients, whether insured or uninsured. “With dedication, dignity, and knowledge, I look forward to serving you and your family’s vision care needs as your eye care specialist. You are more than a patient in our practice; you are part of our family.”

To connect with Dr. Joanna Slusky and learn more about Halsted Eye Boutique, stop by Halsted Eye Boutique located at 2852 N. Halsted Avenue in Lakeview or visit http://visionsource-halstedeyeboutique.com/

First Generation American Project “Drinks & Dialogue” Event at Pint Chicago

Each month, First Generation American Project hosts live meet-up events at local venues throughout Chicago and the suburbs. We invite FGA’s from all cultural backgrounds to join us in an open dialogue, focusing on the experiences of growing up first generation in the US. The environment is always casual and we have been so thankful to see our network of FGA’s evolve over the past year.

Francis Son Photography

This month we were excited to visit Pint Bar & Restaurant in Chicago’s Bucktown neighborhood. The location itself is a testament to the diversity of our great city. Next to Pint’s patio, you can find a retro phone booth that is reminiscent of England. Inside, you definitely get a feel for their motto: “A home away from home. Pint’s relaxing atmosphere, delicious meals, tasty beer selection and ‘old world’ charm will make you feel as comfortable and welcome as any public house in Chicago.”

The eclectic crowd of artsy entrepreneurs and Blackhawks fans filled the public side of the venue, while our group enjoyed a private room in the back. Pint’s staff was kind enough to provide complimentary appetizers and drink specials for our group, and even set up a massive projector to watch the Hawks dominate Detroit in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Right as we began, the roar of the national anthem filled the air, and we waived our American flags with pride. And yes – it was BYOF: Bring Your Own Flag!

Francis Son Photography

The first part of the event started off with drinks and networking. Familiar faces and new faces introduced themselves to each other, while learning about how they heard about FGA Project and why they joined. A few attendees brought American and immigrant friends, all welcomed to be part of the event.

After an hour of meet and greet, we began our dialogue session. Each attendee received a sheet with questions and topics points, and everyone partnered up with a new connection. We asked our partners questions from each category: defining First Generation American, how and why our parents came to the US, food, language, second school, traditions, and cultural identity. We then went around the room sharing what the person across from us discussed. Some had the same interpretation of what being FGA means, others weren’t quite sure how to define it. The openness and honesty of the group made for solid dialogue and really highlighted the purpose of our meet-ups: to catalyze the conversation of what this experience is all about.

Francis Son Photography

Our event photographer, Francis Son, invited his roommate Jo, who turned out to be a first generation Cuban-American. She was excited to jump into our dialogue and share how her family left Cuba because the struggle with Communism in the country. This was the first time I had met Jo, and it was amazing to connect with her on a personal level. Despite coming from different countries, our parents had a similar story, and we felt an instant bond as we continued our conversation.

As we were winding down, a group of locals sat down at the bar in our private section to escape the packed house on the other side of the venue. The Hawks game was playing in the background, but the volume was turned down to allow our guests to share their stories. One of the locals asked why it was so quiet and whether they were interrupting anything. Immediately, our guests welcomed them and shared the purpose of our meet-up. A Korean-American man from the group raised his hand and asked if he counted as FGA. He wasn’t sure of the definition, since he was born in Korea and came at a young age. To his surprise, he did in fact count, and we could all tell he felt right at home with our group.

Francis Son Photography

It’s been so great to meet total strangers and help them better understand their cultural identify. Though our families may come from totally different parts of the world, there are so many nuances that we can relate to. We would love to connect with you and hear about your experiences too. Be sure to join us at our next live event at Vertigo Sky Lounge on Tuesday June 25th from 7pm-9pm.

To learn more about Pint Bar & Restaurant visit www.pintpub.com